I Win.

Funny how God gets our attention sometimes. It's sad that He has to wake me up in the middle of the night where there's no distractions and no where to go. I thank God they He cares enough about me to stop me in my tracks to have a conversation with me.

Anyways, as I usually do when I can't sleep, I turn on the tv and began listening to a lady talk on forgiveness. I started thinking..."God, is there someone I need to forgive?" If you are like me, a list came to mind. But that's when God showed me something different. He gently prompted me that along with those that I should forgive, I should forgive myself as well.

The lady talked explained that forgiveness can keep you in a place of captivity. When we hold on to our hurts and disappointments, we stay disabled. Good news though. Through Christ we are able.

I started thinking of the hurts and disappointments I am holding on to when it comes to my PCOS. All this time, I felt like I've been on a roller coaster with high, lows and many sharps curves, some sending me in a complete upside down loop. I feel that I have had successful times, but I always assume that failure is right around the corner.

Well right now, I choose to forgive myself. I am not a failure. I win. With God, I can not fail. I am able . Through Him I can and will make decisions that create life and complete health. I deserve it: not because of anything I did or possess, but because of what He did and what He possesses.