Literatly Bittersweet

I just came across a link and I had to share it. I hope you find it interesting.
   With PCOS, depression is always lurking. There are so many reasons and risks to cause someone to become overwhelmed and, maybe without even knowing that it is happening, depressed. One of the best ways we can fight it is to inform ourselves.
   Read through this article. As silly as it seems, I feel God has been really urging me and nearly convicting me of drinking soda. However, I am the first to say...it is hard. I love my diet coke. Oh yes, I know I said love. But we have must put ourselves and make ourselves a priority. I am not asking you to stop drinking soda and juices, I am asking you be open to the information available and make logical and healthy decisions for you! You deserve it!

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/sweet-sodas-soft-drinks-may-raise-risk-depression-183000091.html 

Helpful Tips for us PCOS Girls

So, I just watched The Biggest Loser for the first time. Wow. Even though I am terrified of Jullian Michaels already, I was kind of inspired to start making some better choices for myself. Not knowing where to start, I randomly googled for some help and happened to land on this site. I found it very interesting and wanted to share it with my you. I thought it did real good job of describing PCOS and then giving some tips on what we can do to make healthy choices for us. Hope you enjoy it!

5 PCOS Diet Strategies | Attain Fertility

A Note to the Sad Girl

I know I haven't blogged a while, but now I must. I have sat back and watched others struggling with PCOS (Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome) and I know how that feels. PCOS has some nasty darkness that is hard to remove and stay away from. This darkness I have also felt and have had to fight against. PCOS is discouraging to girl who has tried every weight loss program out there. Some help shed a few pounds, but most of them leave you feeling like a failure. I once heard of a doctor saying that a girl with polycistic should be satisfied with losing a pound a month. I do not say that to discourage you. I say it in hopes that we will lose the need to abuse and hate ourselves for not being skinny. We have to make our goal be to care and love ourselves enough to make healthy decisions for ourselves. Because of these constant self-esteem issues alongside of the hormone imbalances, depression is sometimes quick to show it's nasty face. If you don't get anything else from this blog, please hear this...YOU HAVE TO FIGHT. I know it is hard and I know it gets so tiring, but you can't stop. I have found myself more than once debilitated, exhausted and defeated by depression. Thank God He did not leave me there. Once I was awaken and aware of what was going on, I had to find ways to live. Sometimes it felt more like trying to find ways to stay afloat. Even though I can not tell you personally how to stay positive and fight, I can tell you some suggestions that helped me. The first thing I did was engulf myself in things I love to do. I found out I am a pretty crafty person. I began crafting everything. Thank God for Pinterest. No matter if it is music or traveling or photography, find something you love to do and make time for it. Second thing I did was not put much attention in the what the media says and thinks. This is really hard to do because it is everywehere we look. No matter what the entertainment industry or media says we should or shouldn't look like, we have to realize that we are beautiful and deserving of feeling beautiful. What the media has to say is not the truth nor should be the determining factor on our thoughts of ourselves or others. I personally recommend looking to God for the truth on who you are. Start with the well known chapter in His word that says, "I will confess and praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.{Psalm 139} Last thing I had to do was get involved. This was hard for me especially when it came to others girls. I nearly had to force myself to be around other females. My insecurities had taken over and I was a bitter and jealous person. But once I found a glimpse of like for myself, I decided to drop my negative attitudes and feelings and actually interact with others. This changed my life. I found out others actually might like me just for me. I found out I am actually kind of fun and can have a good time. I found out I could trust others and rely on them for support. Am I saying I never get my feelings hurt or I never get jealous? No way. But I am aware now that it is possible to have friends that are girls and actually like them. Know that you are not alone. Know that you are awesome. Know that you are a fighter. Know that you don't have to be sad forever. Know you deserve happiness and good in your life. Know that you are beautiful.

Discipline...WAHHH!

   Discipline: Not a fantastic word to hear all the time, huh?! Why? Because it means that we are stepping out of denial and willing to do whatever it takes to make a change. Discipline doesn't usually equal fun. It means that we have some work to do.
   With PCOS, it can get very discouraging when you feel you have tried everything and nothing has changed. But we have to remember disciplines close cousin: consistency. You know the saying, "Consistency is the key!" Easier said that done, huh?
   I think that everyone can say that they have an area in their lives where they could be more disciplined. With PCOS, we have no other choice. To be on top of the disorder and overcome it, we have to change our priorities and put our health and well-being first.
   In my opinion, there are three areas we need to be disciplined in with PCOS:
1.) Exercise: All the articles you read about PCOS stress the importance of exercise. Exercise can be a game changer for more than one reason. Not only do you feel incredible when you are done, but the physical benefits are countless. Exercise is a must. Words of encouragement: Don't get discouraged and start where you can.
2.) Diet: Because those of us with PCOS have a high chance of being or becoming diabetic, watching and/or monitoring the food we consume is essential. It's not good for us to be consuming much sugars and carbs. We need to remember that our food does not break down and process like others'.
3.) Stay in the know: When we stay in the know about PCOS, we stay our denial. It is super easy to slip back into the lazy zone and avoid dealing with the problem. We need to remember that we can't change the problem. Unfortunately, it's a reality. However, we can change the outcome. When we see our doctors regularly, we connect with a support group or even search for knowledge, we stay in the know and in reality. That is a must.
   I encourage you to make some goals of your own. What do you want to see different? Where do you feel you need to be disciplined? I also encourage you to connect with an accountability partner who will encourage and help you stay on track. And above all, don't give up.

   Today I was reminded of how much PCOS can effect a person. I sat as a friend shed tears and spilled her heart about how she was just told the news that she had PCOS. It is weird that I knew exactly what she was feeling; the disappointment, the guilt and stunning emotions are almost too much. I vowed to myself right there that I would continue this blog and continue writing my thoughts, my emotions, my heardships and my victories only to help others and be a small glimpose of hope in this dark battle.

   PCOS can be a hard pill to swallow. The inital blow of bad news can follow you day by day as you look at the scale and see no change. Or...PCOS can be a battle to win. PCOS can be just a test and challenge that we can come out winning in the end. Honestly, PCOS is going to be exactly what you make it. That is why it is important for us to not let it hold us in the darkness. A lot of women find themselves in depression, and 1.) not know how to get themselves out of it, and 2.) not know that PCOS has been behind their depression the whole time.

    Did you know that there are many women with PCOS that find themselves in some form of depression. In fact, http://pcos.about.com/od/whatispcos/a/depressionover.htm states:

"A study found that women with PCOS are more likely to develop depression

or depressive symptoms."

 The article goes on to explain that these depression spats has symptoms such as lack os sleep or excessive sleep, excessive increase in weight, hard time concentrating, and/or lack of  interest in sex.

One of the types of depression the site talks about makes a whole of sense to me personally. They call it Seasonal Affective Disorder. I remember when my husband and I first married, and it came winter time. He made a comment to me that I was like a hermit. He noticed me not want to do anything but stay inside and be in my pajamas all day. Ever since then, he says, "Oh great, winter is almost here."

   That is exactly what Seasonal Affective Disorder is. The website states:

"This is a depression which occurs at the same time each year. It typically begins in the fall or early winter, and ends by spring. Prevalence increases where seasonal changes become more extreme, causing theorists to hypothesize that amount of sunlight exposure may contribute to the disorder. Extreme fatigue, lack of energy and fatigue are typically experienced. "

Interesting, huh?! That is me to a "T".

   As we learn more about PCOS, we can together find ways to fight the battle. You know the saying, "With Knowledge comes Responsiblity." We are not only responsible to ourselves, but to also help others and give hope. I know I can't fight alone, so will you fight with me?

Facing the Facts

My intention of this blog is this: to share the good, bad and the ugly of PCOS through encouraging words, but also through the facts and my encounters with the disease. Unfortunately, not every blog is uplifting, but its at least truthful and at least from the heart to hopefully help others walking the same path.

Part of stepping out denial about yourself is learning the facts whether they are good or bad. I'm freaking out cause I think I might have bad news tomorrow. I recently had blood taken and I am afraid the results are not going to be what I wanted to hear. I got the lovely call today that said I had to meet with someone about "disease management". Incredible huh?!

I am trying to remind myself Romans 8:28 "We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are chosen to be part of His plan." Even though I do not know the results just yet, I do know this; God loves me and He wants best for me. His thoughts are higher than mine. My idea of becoming healthy inside and out is not necessarily His idea.

There are two things I choose during this time of freaking out and stepping out of denial. First I choose to surrender to what the doctors say. My personality wants to not accept their diagnosis and rebel. But I will not. I will listen and choose to obey their directions. Secondly, I will to have joy through this all. I learned this week the difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is a response to a situation. Joy is a decision. I will have joy. There are many people in the United States that can not afford health care, but I get to have someone help me be healthy. There are many people who are immobile and have no way of communicating with friends or society. I can still move and breathe. Not to mention, I have the best friends a girl could ask for. Many people do not have hope or even I higher power. Not only do I have a higher power, but I have the higher power. In my God I find hope, grace, forgiveness, love and health. He is bigger and He wins. My God trumps all.

I Win.

Funny how God gets our attention sometimes. It's sad that He has to wake me up in the middle of the night where there's no distractions and no where to go. I thank God they He cares enough about me to stop me in my tracks to have a conversation with me.

Anyways, as I usually do when I can't sleep, I turn on the tv and began listening to a lady talk on forgiveness. I started thinking..."God, is there someone I need to forgive?" If you are like me, a list came to mind. But that's when God showed me something different. He gently prompted me that along with those that I should forgive, I should forgive myself as well.

The lady talked explained that forgiveness can keep you in a place of captivity. When we hold on to our hurts and disappointments, we stay disabled. Good news though. Through Christ we are able.

I started thinking of the hurts and disappointments I am holding on to when it comes to my PCOS. All this time, I felt like I've been on a roller coaster with high, lows and many sharps curves, some sending me in a complete upside down loop. I feel that I have had successful times, but I always assume that failure is right around the corner.

Well right now, I choose to forgive myself. I am not a failure. I win. With God, I can not fail. I am able . Through Him I can and will make decisions that create life and complete health. I deserve it: not because of anything I did or possess, but because of what He did and what He possesses.